What I’ve learned living alone

It’s coming up on five months since I moved out on my own. I’ve stayed in the Metrotown area, and I wanted to reflect on what I have experienced so far. There’s no way to know how long I will be in my little studio on busy Kingsway, so it is worth cherishing every week.

Learning to be with myself

Once the dust was settled (and swept up) from moving in, I realized how romantic it is to live alone. I get to soak in the glory of independence every day. It far outweighs the stress of bills, work, and other responsibilities. I make a conscious effort not to take on too much, because I want to truly enjoy the calm evening dinners in front of the TV, or my morning stretches on the balcony overlooking my beautiful city. I look out the window almost every day so grateful to be in this little slice of heaven – even with its quirks and annoyances.

The main downside right now is the extended loneliness of Omicron. I’ve been avoiding seeing most friends and family for a couple weeks, and the deep feeling of missing them has taken a hit on my soul. But I take it one day at a time, and try to be grateful for my health.

Laundry is expensive as hell

It became clear right away that I do not want to pay $9-$14 per week to use my building’s shitty machines. So, I proudly schlep a load or two to my mom’s every time I visit. I am adult.

Big property firms don’t always recycle

Sorry to break it to you [redacted name of my building’s management company], but I ratted you out the second I moved in. To my absolute horror, I went to take my first bag of compost to the basement when I moved in and discovered no green bins. When I called the office, they didn’t even know what I meant by “where do I put my organics”? During my first three months, I threw scraps in the garbage with much dismay, while anonymously coordinating with the city’s waste department. It is the law for Burnaby homes and apartment complexes to compost. So, they made my building comply. And I cannot tell you how overjoyed I was to see those beautiful green bins show up. I’m quite certain that if I took the complaint to my building directly, nothing would get done.

It is nice that nobody knows what I’m up to

Just the other night, I was with my friend at Cactus Club. I hadn’t been there since I lived at home, and a fleeting urge crossed my mind while I was sippin’ a cosmo. I should let mom know I decided to go out for dinner after the mall, it is getting late.

Even though I moved months ago, I still got that gut feeling like I needed my family to know where I was. It was actually a heart-warming thing, but was followed by this great appreciation for the fact that nobody knows what the hell I am up to unless I want them to!

If there are any young women or feminine-presenting people reading this who are hesitant about the safety of living alone: Turn on your location sharing, tell someone when you go out at night, and tell your friends once you get home. every. time. There are strategies you can use to feel more secure while going home alone. I personally do not feel very scared alone at night, but I know a lot of people are for very valid reasons.

Going to the grocery store is fun

Especially during the pandemic, which doesn’t provide many opportunities to safely socialize, I have found a lot of joy in grocery shopping. This naturally developed because I love cooking and eating. Grocery shopping no longer feels like a chore, but is rather something I find myself doing every couple days to get my legs moving.

It is ok to ask for help

This was actually a lesson I got from my mom right as I was moving out. I went to clean my closet, and found two resident daddy-long-legs. Spiders are the bane of my existence, and with all the stress of moving I had an anxiety attack. I shamefully asked mom remove them, and after she did, to my teary face she said that “It is ok to ask for help”. That is a simple but important lesson for anyone who lives alone. We should not put pressure on ourselves to do absolutely everything all alone. It is not human.

Feeling confident in her advice, I asked her to help me sweep behind my stove a couple weeks ago. And for the record, I haven’t seen a SINGLE spider since I moved in. Ahh, I love high rises.

I can actually do this

The biggest thing I have learned so far is that I can live alone and be okay. I can be doing my best at work, trying to take care of my mental health, while being able to afford a great little home. Are my savings growing? Nope. Is that ok? Yeah, I think so. I will only have this phase of my life once, so I might as well enjoy it. I am proud that I have achieved this, and the more comfortable I get, the more I can take on.